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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
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Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
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A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
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We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
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Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
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My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
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Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
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It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
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Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
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Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
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One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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